The Loving Kind
by filthysmile
Summary: tell anyone and you're dead xoxo yours truly" set after victor/victrola CB


_**AN: I haven't written anything in a while, so when I found this on my computer I just had to continue it. It is set up to "Victor, Victrola".**_

_________

Because, really, Chuck was never the loving kind

_**Sometimes  
I watch you when you're sleeping**_

Chuck Bass, that was the boy's name. His dark hair was shaggy, and his face was in pure awe of the petite brunette that lay on the bed. It had been the Waldorf's annual summer ball, and his father hadn't finished his poker game, whilst Nathaniel left, and Serena's nanny had picked her up hours ago. There were two people left: Chuck and Blair, forgotten and abandoned.

At 12 years old Chuck had not been inexperienced, -he boasted about his conquests and how he, being so small, had been the first to play seven minutes in heaven, get the first proper snog, etc. but his crude comments had still left little Blair blushing. He had enjoyed teasing her and yet as the night progressed she found he became quieter, and this was the first night Blair Waldorf found out there was something more to Chuck Bass.

The went upstairs to her room, she had changed and invited him into her bed, declaring that if he ever told anyone about this she'd deny it and make him, quote, "the most unpopular loser in the whole of the upper east side, where even the richest snobs would feel embarrassed by your presence. Spill and you are dead."

_**I wonder what you're feeling  
Both wide awake and dreaming  
Of yesterday  
**_

It had been early morning, his arms were wrapped tightly around her form and she felt herself snuggle more into him. He smiled at this, wishing he knew what she was dreaming, thinking. He wondered if he was the only one that notices her parents fighting, he wondered weather she had been oblivious to the quite obvious flirting her father had involved himself in with some overly tanned Italian gay guy.

_**I want you  
To kiss away the tensions  
The issues never mentioned  
**_

She signed in her sleep and her breathing evened again, he hadn't realised she had woken up. She felt his lips brush against her hair, and decided to forget it, and she knew she'd tell herself that it never happened, and it was one of her hideous dreams. He knew she was pretending, he knew she saw the things he did, even he couldn't protect her from everyone, everything.

_**With all the best intentions  
But you turn away  
**_

Her clock read 10.30, she sighed, registering that Chuck was still in her bed. Not as close to her as she remembered when she had woken up previously, but still there. She could practically feel the heat from his body.

"Oh, you're still here" She grumbled under her breath. Rolling onto her stomach, secretly trying to avoid smelling his perfect scent.

"What, not happy to see me, your highness?" He chuckled, but as she turned to face him she noted a change in him, as if he had come upon some sort of epiphany in the night. She rolled her eyes. He couldn't help but think how cute she looked with her tousled curls, so messy, so imperfect.

"Not this early in the morning," She replied, her voice determined to kick him out, she failed to see the sadness in his expression.

With a huff, Blair stood up, put her silk dressing gown on, and standing at the foot of her bed stared at Chuck. She studied his face, he looked amused, but sad, as if he knew what was coming, but he wanted to say something anyway. He began saying something "Look I-", Blair collected herself, and turned, "You know where the door is" Were her last words as she entered her bathroom.

_**Oh Baby if you find  
I'm not the loving kind**_

Years past and they had become best friends, well only they knew they had. Blair had decided she wanted a 'relationship' with Nathaniel, and it cut Chuck, but he kept telling himself, he wasn't good enough. After he had accepted the fact that they were not meant to be, because he was too chicken to pound on her bathroom door that night and demand that she come out and listen to what he had to say, he decided that it was better anyway if they had been only friends. So he drank, and had sex, a lot. Not out of spite for her but because that's just how he dealt with everything... with her. The asshole image was _his_ thing.

_**I buy you flowers, I pour you wine  
Do anything to change your mind**_

He remembered her birthday more times than Nate ever did, she had been pleasantly surprised when Dorota put fresh flowers by her bed every birthday Blair had, had, no matter where she was. It was a kind and sweet gesture and the card always read: "tell anyone, I'll kill you xoxo yours truly".

It had made her feel special, but it never crossed her mind that Chuck Bass had any ulterior motives, he was the womaniser after all.

_**I know  
You may be disinclined  
To find a love we've left behind**_

They were always the ones left behind.

Chuck watched as Serena continued towards her downward path, the wedding was the last straw.

Oh, Chuck watched, and maybe he hid it well with a smirk, he tried to convince himself it was the high of having new dirt on his two best friends, he told himself that it was not because the real reason why he was so joyous when he saw Nate and Serena it was one step closer to Blair. His Blair, the one he knew he should tell because it was his place to make it all better.

When he had gone to find her, his heart broke; he **loved** her too much to tell her.

**So kiss me then make up your mind  
I'm not the loving kind  
**

He made sure she went home, oblivious, put her to bed, and denied any questions that involved Serena and Nate's disappearance. The last thing she remembers was Chuck brushing his lips against hers, and whispering 'Goodnight my Queen'

The next morning she told herself she was still upset about Nate going missing with Serena-of all people. Her mind knew that Chuck would never do anything so _loving_, as to protect her from some ugly truth because it was just not in his nature.

**I'd do anything  
Sing songs that lovers sing  
If I could change your mind  
Am I not the loving kind**

It was when he saw her at the hotel, talking to Serena he knew it was time to snap out of it. He had told himself over and over that Blair didn't need him; she needed Nate to pull his head out of his arse and step up. Chuck went and tried to convince Nate that Blair is the best thing that can ever happen to him.

**I'd do anything  
Sing songs that lovers sing  
If I could change your mind  
Am I not the loving kind**

When she came to his club, "A _burlesque_ club. A respectable place where people can be transported to another time, feel free to let loose. No judgments, pure escape. What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola." He wondered whether her actually meant that, was that really what he felt? No judgements? No consequences, the only thing he knew that he was going to let her believe that, no matter what.

Her eyes sparkled; it was this Blair that he knew he wanted- his Blair "Well, it does have franchise potential. Chuck Bass, I do believe that all your years of underage boozing and womanizing have finally paid off. Truly, I am _proud_" His heart swelled, nobody had ever been proud of him.

**Somewhere on a Monday morning  
In the rush hour of another day  
Standing on a crowded platform  
Carelessly we lost our way**

They had broken up, again. Chuck knew that he would be the one to fix it again, and he knew she'd crawl back to Nate. After all- Chuck Bass would always be the mistake in every girl's life. Nate would always be the prince in shining armour. The fairytale ending that Blair wanted, that she desperately needed.

She stated she felt relief- and he believed her. This wasn't a part of their little game; it was like they were exploring a different territory. This was only the beginning. It felt right to tempt her. He wanted to corrupt her.

"I know you won't do it" and it was because he was so smug, like he knew her too well.

"_Guard my drink_" and she went up there, just to prove him wrong, to convince herself she was not the same Blair. Maybe there was hope after all.

He didn't know who she was at that moment. He knew many different versions of Blair. The desperate child, with big calculating eyes, the teenager, the girl who wanted to be the best always, the best friend, who, even though she was scared to admit it, missed Serena, and it hadn't mattered that Nate was the bad guy, she would always go back to him. The girl that started going to the bathroom after every meal because she couldn't stand the thought of being anything short of _perfect._

She tried to tell herself over and over again that she was independent and at that moment she was. She felt free and as she looked him straight in the eye, nothing mattered, just them, at that moment- in his little strip joint that had made her free. She saw through him, awed and lost, because he couldn't stop himself, he looked like he could love her, like he did. And that was what set Blair's bones on fire.

**Sometimes  
I watch you when you're sleeping  
I wonder what you're feeling  
Both wide awake and dreaming  
Of yesterday  
**

His eyes bored into her face. He was amazed at how perfect she looked, her dress shed somewhere, her barely covered body so toned, petite, he was wondering what she was feeling, and he wondered whether she thought anything of him.

When she turned he knew he had to say something, praise her, kiss her, show her just how much she meant to him. Do something. "You were amazing up there" and he meant it, his eyes filled with sincerity and she could tell that he was still unsure.

It was what she needed to hear. She needed to be loved.

**So kiss me then make up your mind  
I'm not the loving kind  
**

"Are you sure?"

When she kissed him again, she knew it was real, she knew that as she pressed her body close to his as she clung onto him they'd make it, maybe not now but she knew that if Chuck Bass could make her feel fireworks, and butterflies she could deal with life, and as she kissed him she was free.

**Oh, oh, I'm not the loving kind**

She got home, looked in the mirror and felt beautiful for the first time. Touching her face she remembered what she said to him as she left the limo,

"tell anyone and I'll kill you"


End file.
